This is the diary I have never been able to write. Or atleast I hope it will be. This will be about me ranting about myself and how I perceive this world I occasionally occupate.
The reason I am not happy with my previous (hand written) diaries is that I lie to myself so much. There is only a glimpse of truth here and there. Now I am wishing that writing here anomously and in english will help me with being more honest to myself and I am able to observe and learn who I really am. Of course I know who I am, but I just ain't telling it to me. Damn me.
I do not know if anybody reads these blog things. I hope to God, nobody I know gets this one is mine, but the fear of getting "caught" makes this more fun in a way. I hope if someone reads me ranting, they drop me a line if they relate to anything I say and even if not.
A few years back, (I am now almost 30 years old) I started to suspect I was neurologically different, I still suspect, but I am still not sure. I don't mean anything major, but enough that it would matter. My problem is I know that I don't appear that way as I can pretend to be normal, only a bit unique. But now I am sick and tired of it. I tried reading some forums, but I am sick and tired of those stupid quarrels, it's fun to read, but I don't want to get involved, register or post and the topics don't match my questions. I might write about this blog somewhere though, which means I'd have to register, but enough of that and everything. I'll continue when I feel like it.
