Just Thinking Out Loud

Hmm, I kinda like writing in english, because I rarely (almost never) get to use it. I only read in english. I know that it's harder for me to write in other language than it would be in my native one and it does affect the choice of words too. But perhaps I'll gain more than I lose in doing things this way.

I hate my life, but I like my mind. Funny thing. I need to change my life to fit my mind better, but it's so hard.
Yesterday I realised that I really don't like people that much. To put it better, I might like somebody as a person, but I still don't want to spend time with them.
Haha, I was going to write about empathy, but the english wikipedia about it was very different from the short finnish one and ended up looking up a dozen of different sites, I got pre-occupied with that for an hour or so. But at the end of the road I found a song I like Something for Kate - Monsters. The internet is a funny thing. You never know what you will find.

Hello everybody! An introduction.

This is the diary I have never been able to write. Or atleast I hope it will be. This will be about me ranting about myself and how I perceive this world I occasionally occupate.
The reason I am not happy with my previous (hand written) diaries is that I lie to myself so much. There is only a glimpse of truth here and there. Now I am wishing that writing here anomously and in english will help me with being more honest to myself and I am able to observe and learn who I really am. Of course I know who I am, but I just ain't telling it to me. Damn me.
I do not know if anybody reads these blog things. I hope to God, nobody I know gets this one is mine, but the fear of getting "caught" makes this more fun in a way. I hope if someone reads me ranting, they drop me a line if they relate to anything I say and even if not.

A few years back, (I am now almost 30 years old) I started to suspect I was neurologically different, I still suspect, but I am still not sure. I don't mean anything major, but enough that it would matter. My problem is  I know  that I don't appear that way as I can pretend to be normal, only a bit unique. But now I am sick and tired of it. I tried reading some forums, but I am sick and tired of those stupid quarrels, it's fun to read, but I don't want to get involved, register or post and the topics don't match my questions. I might write about this blog somewhere though, which means I'd have to register, but enough of that and everything.  I'll continue when I feel like it.